Ninja, Pirate, Clown
by fairystail
Summary: Throught the Eons many Great people had been reincarnated. The Kyuubi however is left to wonder just how is this clown great?


They say that when a great man dies his soul does not go on to the afterlife instead it just floats around, waiting for an appropriate container to be reborn into. The all powerful Kyuubi no Kitsune knew this to be a fact. Several times throughout his long life he had seen such people reborn time and time again, though now he was starting to question it.

How the hell was this idiot considered 'great?'

...

Iruka was unsure of what to think of the Demon-Brat. He housed the Kyuubi inside himself, there was no way that he was safe to be around, the should just kill him and save the village the risk but saying that... The brat was just too loud, too obnoxious, too annoying and too flashy to be any actual danger.

He frequently lost Taijutsu spars, refused to learn to swim, couldn't use the most basic ninjutsu or genjutsu, they never even let him try to use kunai or shuriken. Forget being a threat to the village, the brat would be lucky to be a threat to a toddler.

...

Mizuki mentally smirked to himself, he didn't even have to alter a few of the tests, the brat was just too pathetic to pass. It is a shame that the brat probably wouldn't be able to steal the Forbidden Scroll, but at least he will get executed for treason.

Mizuki didn't even have to try too hard to convince the brat, just a small mention about the chance to pas and a scroll hidden in the Hokage's Treasure Room

The brat left very quickly, taking the bait, hook, line and sinker.

...

The news the Naruto had stolen the Forbidden Scroll filled the village like wild fire, Iruka couldn't believe that one of his students would do such a thing (especially Naruto who should have been incapable of sneaking into the Hokage's Tower), he had to find his student and get to the bottom of this.

There was Naruto, wait why was Mizuki there? Oh god he was telling Naruto about the fox. Faster Iruka, faster.

Oh kami no. Iruka wasn't fast enough, he was too slow as Mizuki through his Windmill Shuriken at Naruto, cutting the poor boy in half.

In his grief, Iruka accidentally ran head first into a tree knocking himself out.

...

The Hokage wasn't sure how to react to find Naruto in a clearing, reading the Forbidden Scroll while sitting on the corpse of Mizuki (said corpse had several knives embedded in it) with an unconscious Iruka too the side.

Well it's not like they didn't know that Mizuki was a spy, and Naruto had proven himself quite capable though it would take countless ryo to repair the wall to the Treasure Room.

Best just make Naruto a genin and get it over with now.

...

Sakura wasn't sure if she was happy or angry with her team, on one hand she had Sasuke on her team and he was just the coolest, strongest, most beautiful, amazing, wonderful ninja ever!

On the other hand she had Naruto who was loud, annoying, rude, obnoxious and would not stop calling her names. Or hitting her, granted he only hit her after she hit him but that was beside the point, she was a lady and he shouldn't be hitting a lady!

Oh and apparently their sensei was over three hours late.

...

Sasuke tried to watch the fight between the dobe and their sensei and to be honest he was surprised, he did not know that the dobe had such a large amount of explosives on him, he had pretty good aim with his knives too. It was almost impressive.

Then the dobe fell into the water and started screaming that he couldn't swim.

Yes it was impressive, no one else could be that useless.

...

Kakashi wasn't sure if his brats were loveable and cute or just plain annoying. Sakura kept harping on about how cool Sasuke was, Naruto kept saying 'flashy' and blowing everything up (poor Tora), and Sasuke was just so quite and broody.

Ah well maybe a C-Rank mission would help sort them out.

...

Tazuna couldn't believe it. Oh Kami no!

Oh he was gong to hell.

Tazuna was going to hell and he deserved it, oh kami.

He killed a little boy!

Sure the kid was a ninja but because Tazuna lied a little boy was dead.

Oh kami. Oh Kami.

Wait what the fuck!

...

Zabuza was disappointed. When he was a genin he was made better than these useless brats, the sword throw wasn't even meant to kill them, just give them a little scare. But no, one of the brats had to stay standing up, not even trying to move out of the way as the sword cut him in half.

It was really just pathetic.

The other two brats were staring in shock and Sharingan Kakashi was glaring hatefully at him.

Well at least Zabuza would get an interesting fight out of this, hopefully.

Wait is that a flying hand? HOLY SHIT why is that hand flying towards him?

What the fuck?

...

Kakashi had no idea what just happened, one of his students was cut in half them his body parts started to fly and attack Zabuza, seriously what was going on?

Not only that but Naruto appeared unharmed, unsurprised and was taunting the Demon of the Mist throughout the entire thing.

It was almost a relief when Zabuza decided to attack Kakashi, that way at least the Konoha Jounin could focus on something normal like a murderous ninja trying to kill him with an oversized sword and water dragons.

...

Inari wasn't sure what to think any more, he thought that ninja lived comfortable, easy lives, never knowing true suffering but Naruto was different. He had his dream stolen from him because of a friend, his only father figure killed in front of his eyes and everyone always looking down on him.

Ninja may have easy lives but Naruto was clearly an exception, he was someone who knew pain just like Inari did.

...

Haku was, not scared, worried. Naruto just would not go down. No matter how many senbon he was attacked with, no matter how many pierced the blonde boy's skin, he did not appear to be affected.

Naruto could not hurt Haku either, his knives too weak to pierce the ice mirrors and so they were at a stalemate.

Then Naruto pulled a little ball out of his pocket, one inscribed with the symbol of a Jolly Roger on it.

Then all Haku knew was pain.

...

The Kyuubi had to admit, the human was an idiot but he was a flashy idiot at least.

Blowing himself, his friends, the bridge and the enemy up all in one go.

That was truly good entertainment, it was too bad that everyone survived the explosion unfortunately.

Heck the brat was only singed, didn't even seem to be in any pain. A shame, Kurama was considering talking to him but clearly it was not meant to be, maybe next time.

...

If there was one thing Zabuza was proud of it was how scary he could be. People had literally pssed themselves when they met the Demon of the Mist. Literally, piss was running down their legs because of Zabuza. Something about that just gave him warm, happy feelings inside. It was what allowed him to sleep at night.

However this kid, this kid was something else. Walking through an army of bandits, taking every single sword slash they sent at him, laughing the entire time, throwing explosives around like candy.

This kid was scary, almost even scarier than Zabuza was, it was a flashy type of scary. Maybe the Leaf wasn't completely full of tree-hugging pansies after all.

...

The Hokage looked at the mission report. He looked at it again. He burnt it.

Maybe if he ignored it then it wouldn't affect him

Naruto had caused him so such paperwork as it was it was just ridiculous, completely and utterly ridiculous.

If anyone asked Hiruzen would just blame Orochimaru, that usually worked. If it didn't then he would blame Danzo.

...

Kabuto was an excellent spy due to many different skills. He was great at reading people. He had an excellent poker face. He could fade into the background easily, and he always trusted his instincts.

He knew right away that Uzumaki Naruto was really interested in his Ninja Info cards. However the Jinchuriki did not trust Kabuto at all. But the most surprising thing was that this boy was possibly more cold hearted than even Orochiaru-sama.

This was interesting.

...

Ibuki glared at the Uzumaki Brat and the brat just smirked back arrogantly.

This was ridiculous, didn't the brat know who he was? He was Morino Ibiki, the head of torture and interrogation. People literally pissed themselves when they realised that he was going to 'take care" of them. Seriously, they actually pissed themselves.

So why in Kami's name was this brat not scared?

It was driving Ibiki crazy.

...

Anko was confused. She had cut the Uzumaki brat when she threw her kunai. Sure it was just an intimidation tactic but she had cut him, she knew she had cut him. So why wasn't their any blood?

She was so confused by it that she almost forget to hand out the liability waivers.

Imagine the amount of paperwork if she didn't hand those out.

It would be a nightmare.

...

Orochimaru had to admit that the Uzumaki kid was interesting, such a strange Kekkai Genkai that made someone immune to all cutting attacks. Still it didn't protect one from blunt attacks and the range of the flying limbs wasn't too far.

If it wasn't for the fact that the Jinchuriki Seal would probably mess with the Cursed Seal the Orochimaru would have tagged the Uzumaki as well.

Ah well, Sasuke was enough for the Snake Sannin.

...

Kiba had never been so humiliated in his life. Well maybe the time his sister had forced him to wear a flee collar, but otherwise he had never been so humiliated.

All Naruto had done was mutter something about 'mohji teaching some tricks' and then he barked out "SIT!'

almost instantly Akamaru's but was on the floor, Kiba's followed as well.

He couldn't help it, that was the same voice mum used when she was angry.

...

Jiraiya was in heaven. Finally he found someone who appreciated the important things in life. Tits, alcohol and flashy entrances.

Heck if it wasn't for the fact that Jiraiya knew who Naruto's parents were he'd think that the kid was his own flesh and blood. And surprisingly enough that thought didn't terrify him.

Naruto was a great kid, loud, boisterous, fun. Sure he didn't like the toads but he took to Fuinjutsu like a duck to water.

The kid just loved to make things explode.

...

Neji was ready for his fight against Uzumaki, how could he not? Neji was a prodigy and Uzumaki was the dead last. Neji was fated to win and that is all there was to it.

Then Uzumaki did something that shocked everyone.

Neji had rushed forward, attacking Uzumaki's tenketsu and shutting them al down.

Every single tenketsu except for the one in his heart

Uzumaki should have passed out, should have been on the ground cold and yet he seemed unaffected,

The only people who would not be affected by such a thing would be civilians who never used their chakra and so did not rely on it at all. And yet Uzumaki a ninja was also unaffected.

It was like he never used his chakra. Not even the simple physical enhancement that Lee used.

Unfortunately Neji had the one fighting style and he quickly found himself beaten by Uzumaki.

...

Gaara was not sure what to do.

The invasion was going on and mother was calling for blood, screaming for it.

Gaara was going to give mother all the blood she could want, starting with Uzumaki but that was the problem.

Uzumaki had split himself in half, the quarters, the eights and so on and so on until he was everywhere, floating about, attacking Gaara's sand shield. But there was no blood. None at all.

How could he give mother blood when his opponent didn't have any blood.

"Hmmm, it seems that sharp attacks work, but they require a bit of force. I doubt your sand can bounce this back. **Chop Chop Buzzsaw!** " Uzumaki screamed as he sent his legs spininng end over end, blades at the tip of his feet, coming forward, cutting through Gaara's sand shield and even cutting into the red headed jinchuriki slightly.

Gaara freaked out.

...

Uzumaki Naruto, once known as Buggy the Clown regarded the monster in front of him. It was big, it was dangerous, it was scary and truthfully Buggy wanted to run and hide.

He couldn't do that though.

Sure the people of Konoha were murderers, thieves and scumbags but they were HIS murderers, thieves and scumbags.

Buggy would not leave them alone.

Bugy regarded the sky, almost serenly. "It is the only chance. Fuck you Strawhat," he cursed.

Slowly Buggy sent his body flying up into the air, higher and higher, even higher than the sand demon. Then he dive bombed it, attaching himself to it's head and with one hand Buggy raised his knife.

Then the lightning struck and all Buggy saw was a field of flowers.

"Fuck you Strawhat."


End file.
